Funnies

[Noxide]

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[Michelle]

I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!!!

I can't stop laughing at the merge

[aneeshman]

[Vishay]

Advantages Of Being A Woman
Why it's better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

[Noxide]

(For those non-South Africans out there "BEE" stands for
Black Economic Empowerment.)

Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics professor and says, "I don't understand the point of BEE.
Can you explain it to me?"


The professor replied, "I don't have any time to explain it at my office, but if you come over to my house on Saturday and help me with my weekend project, I'll be glad to explain it to you."


The student agreed.



At the agreed-upon time, the student showed up at the professor's house.

The professor stated that the weekend project involved his backyard pool.
They both went out back to the pool, and the professor handed the student a bucket.



Demonstrating with his own bucket, the professor said, "First, go over to the deep end, and fill your bucket with as much water as you can."
The student did as he was instructed.



The professor then continued, "Follow me over to the shallow end, and then dump all the water from your bucket into it."
The student was naturally confused, but did as he was told.

The professor then explained they were going to do this many more times, and began walking back to the deep end of the pool.
The confused student asked, "Excuse me, but why are we doing this?"



The professor matter-of-factly stated that he was trying to make
the shallow end much deeper.

The student didn't think the economics professor was serious, but figured that he would find out the real story soon enough.



However, after the 6th trip between the shallow end and the deep end, the student began to become worried that his economics professor had gone mad.

The student finally blurted out, "All we're doing is wasting valuable time and effort on unproductive pursuits.
Even worse, when this process is all over, everything will be at the same
level it was before, so all you'll really have accomplished is the destruction of what could have been truly productive action!"



The professor put down his bucket and replied with a smile, "Congratulations. You now understand BEE."

[Vishay]

1. (Anything)

Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything
Men: How about watching a movie? It's been a long time
Women: Watching movie is no good, it's a waste of time
Men: How about we go for bowling, or some exercises?
Women: Exercise on such a hot day?
Men: Then find a cafe and have a drink
Women: I am off caffeine
Men: Then what do you suggest?
Women: Anything

2 . (Whatever)

Men:What should we have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..
Men: Why don't we have Mexican?
Women: No not Mexican, the last time I got pimples on my face
Men: Alright, why don't we have Szechwan cuisine
Women: Yesterday we ate Szechwan , today too?
Men: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood is not good, I got diarrhea
Men: Then what do you suggest?
Women : Whatever..

[nojoum]

Guys i'm not gay,but when i searched hot man
this showed up

i think they are toooooooooooooooo tranny

[Michelle]

How to Sleep in Office Hours

[Vishay]

[aneeshman]