Funnies

[aneeshman]

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[Vishay]

A married couple is driving along a highway at 60 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband says, 'I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce.'

The wife says nothing,but slowly increases her speed to 65 mph. The husband speaks again. 'I don't want you to try and talk me out of it,' He says, 'because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And she's a far better lover than you are.'

Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 75. He pushes his luck. 'I want the house,' he says insistently..

Up to 80. 'I want the car, too,' he continues.

85 mph. 'And! ,' he says, 'I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!'

The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, 'Isn't there anything you want?'

The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
'No, I've got everything I need,' she says.
'Oh, really,' he inquires, 'so what have you got?'

Just before they slam into the wall at 85 mph,The wife turns to him and smiles. 'The airbag.'

Moral of the story!
Women are crazy!!!!

[aneeshman]

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[Vishay]

[Vishay]

It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.

But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?" "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.

A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter." The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever.

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy.

[SuperFlash1980]

[Vishay]

Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.

When did you first notice this problem?
What problem?
What is defference between man and Superman?
Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.

Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.



In a practical Exam
Examiner showed legs of bird n said:Tell the bird’s name
Sam:I dont know
Examiner: U r failed.Wats ur name?
Sam: You see my legs, and tell me!

[gerrit1951]

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:d

[Vishay]

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.

[Cyclonus]