Funnies

[Noxide]

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[Noxide]

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[Lemmings]

A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to
the bathroom,so she said yes. When he went to
wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used
his hands. When he got back to class his teacher
asked, 'What do you have in your hand.'The boy
said, 'A little leprechaun and if I open my hand
he'll get scared away.'
He was then sent to the principals office and
the principal asked him, 'What do you have in your hand
So the little boy said, 'A little leprechaun and
if I open my hands he'll get scared away.'
He was sent home and his mom asked him 'What do
you have in your hand.'

So the little boy said, 'A little leprechaun and
if I open my hands he'll get scared away.'
He was sent to his room and his dad came in and
said, 'What do you have in your hand.'

So again the little boy said, 'A little
leprechaun and if I open my hands he will get scared away.
Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, 'Open your hands.
And the little boy said, 'Look Dad you scared the **** out of him.

[Lemmings]

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[Joshua_pohan]

Q: How many blonde jokes are there?

A: One. The rest are all true stories.

[xViper1x]

[poohpooh]

noxide those jokes where really good especially the little boy and the "leprecaun" hahah ill rep u as soon as i can u rock

[robynn88]

Nine Simple Words Women Use that Men should know the TRUE meaning of each...

1- Fine:
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2- Five Minutes:
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3- Nothing:
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4- Go Ahead:
This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5- Loud Sigh:
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.
A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6- That's Okay:
This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means
she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7- Thanks:
A woman is thanking you. Do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.
(I want to add in a; clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is pure sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome’ that will bring on a 'whatever').

8- Whatever:
Is a women's way of saying '#%@*' YOU!

9- Don't worry about it, I got it:
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response, refer to # 3.

[Yuros]

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[robynn88]

Down South, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"

"Yes, Bubba, sure is true." Responded the lawyer.

"And now someone is suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat andclogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries, is that true mister lawyer?"
"Sure is Bubba. But why you asking?"

"Cause what I want to know is, I was thinkin' can I sue Budweiser for all
the ugly women I've slept with ?"