Funnies

[Outlaw]

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[RaulRey]

A dogs fight...

[Noxide]

Attachment 43313

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THAT IS SO WRONG MAN!!!

[Vishay]

Four blondes somehow graduated from a shitty, no- good college. After 100s of interview and not getting any job they decided to take matter in their own hands i.e. to start their own business.

First they opened a Gas station, but didnt get single customer in months. Why?
The Gas station was on first floor.

They decided to venture in another business and opened a resturant on the same floor. Again no customer. Why?
They didnt remove the sign of Gas Station.

Decided they had enough with same place, moved to taxi business. Even after several days of roming around the city they got 0 passenger. Why?
Two blondes in front and two in back in single cab were looking for passengers.

Once they ran out of gas in middle of nowhere. Decided to push the cab to side of the road, but the taxi didnt move an inch. Why?
Two were pushing from back and two were from front.

Frustrated as none of their great ideas were working, they decided to enter into field of crime. Kindnapped a young boy and told him to go and ask your mom for $500,000 otherwise we will kill you. The boy went and came back in one day with the money. Why?

The boy's mother was blonde as well.

[Vishay]

At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart;
in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy
more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that's powered by the sun, more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.

9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps, even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.

[jmarin]

[80beyond]

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[RaulRey]

A simple way to understand the Client / Server model:

[Noxide]

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LOL!!

Nice

[svenny000]