Funnies

[NaturalMystyk27]

[NaturalMystyk27]

[NaturalMystyk27]

[viktor_schwarze]

hi, lols...do U remember this funny guy?

[viktor_schwarze]

[IMG]http://3.bp.********.com/_tlmmRjwNKbI/SGJtooTcomI/AAAAAAAAAMg/pHi5hS6tx0A/s400/MIGRAINE.jpg[/IMG]

[viktor_schwarze]

or Max Cannon`s great cartoons...???

[wackonottaco]

bella loves osama bin laden copy.jpg

I made it myself

[kencck]

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths..
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,

P. Niss



The Response
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
Correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you should.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task..
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,

V. Gina

[kencck]

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the
airplane when the stranger turned to her and said,
'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about
nuclear power?' and he smiles.

OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow,
and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a
deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a
flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried
grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's
intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel
qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t?

[kencck]

ARAB MAN
> > > An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
> > > 'Your name pls.'?
> > > 'Abdul Aziz '
> > > 'Sex? '
> > > 'Six times a week!! '
> > > 'No, no, I mean male or female! '
> > > 'Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !'
> > >


SERVICE
> > > Sex is like a restaurant.
> > Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and
> > > sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service'
> > >


HAPPY MAN
> > > What makes a happy man?
> > > Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
> > > Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
> > > Mistress on the cover of playboy
> > > and .. Wife on the cover of 'missing persons'
> > >


SWIMSUIT
> > > Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
> > > To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY
> > > section.
> > >


GOOD AMBITION
> > > Teacher: What do you want to become?
> > > Little Johnny: Doctor !!
> > > Teacher: Why?
> > > Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can
> > > tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.
> > >


DENTIST
> > > Woman complaining to dentist: 'It's so
> > > painful, I'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed.'
> > > Dentist: 'Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the
> > > chair accordingly.'
> > >


VIRGIN
> > > Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her
> > > tombstone to read :
> > > BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
> > > The engraver shortened it to: ' RETURNED UNOPENED
> > >


OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
> > > 75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
> > > On their first night both were crying - why???
> > > Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.
> > >