Funnies

[amaway]

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level.
The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.
She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
She says, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!" One of the Blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"

[amaway]

A blonde named Mary decides to do something really wild. Something she hasn't done before, so she goes out to rent her first X-rated adult video.
She goes to the video store, and after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.
She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR.
To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.
Mary: "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape but static."
Clerk: "Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"
Mary: "Head Cleaner."

[amaway]

Upon reaching 65, old Gary decided to retire.
After having him under foot for a few months, his wife became very agitated with him.
She suggested he goes and does something to occupy his time, like join a club or get a hobby.
Old Gary obliged and went out for a couple of hours.
When he got home Pat asked about his day and he replied,
"Oh, I just went down to the park and hung out with the guys. And oh yeah, I joined a parachute club."
"What? Are you nuts? You're 65 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes again?"
"Yeah, look I even got a membership card."
"Old man!!!!!, you need glasses! This is a membership in a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"
"Oh, great! Now what am I going to do? I signed up for 5 jumps a week!"

[EvilSpaghetti]

it's like jelly

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[EvilSpaghetti]

why hello there...

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[EvilSpaghetti]

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[EvilSpaghetti]

indeed

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[EvilSpaghetti]

Lazy fatty

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[EvilSpaghetti]

Yay!!!!

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[dantheman122]

Attachment 7195

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AHahhahaha, there's a Fish and Chip shop just near me named "The Codfather" :p and the sign is pretty similar, but more fishy

Gratz on the 1000 posts Songbird