Funnies

[Michelle]

[Michelle]

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[RaulRey]

[Vishay]

A gas station owner in Mississippi was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, "Free Kisses with Fill-Up."
Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free kisses. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free kisses. The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7.... sorry, no kisses this time."
A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free kisses. The proprietor again asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free kisses this time."
As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free kisses."
Bubba replied, " No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week!

[Michelle]

[Michelle]

An elderly woman went to her local doctor’s office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied,

“I’d like to have some birth control pills.”

Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said,

“Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, but you’re 80 years old. What would you possibly need birth control pills for?”

The woman replied, “They help me sleep better.”

The doctor considered this for a second, and continued…

“How in the world do birth control pills help you sleep?”

The woman said,

“I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice, and I sleep better at night.”

[Michelle]

A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.
"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking."

Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."

[Noxide]

Took a pic of him in Hong Kong. His freakin HUGE


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[EvilSpaghetti]

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[Noxide]