Results 9,001 to 9,010 of 16280
-
09-02-2009, 10:44 PM #9001Originally Posted by jowkah Log in to see links
-
10-02-2009, 07:42 AM #9002
Funny
-
10-02-2009, 07:46 AM #9003
-
10-02-2009, 07:47 AM #9004Originally Posted by jmarin Log in to see links
+rep
-
10-02-2009, 07:52 AM #9005Originally Posted by ittash Log in to see links
-
10-02-2009, 07:57 AM #9006
This is really funny, but it might offend some people.
Open and Read @ own risk.
-
10-02-2009, 10:24 AM #9007
I got stuck in the snow on the way home the other night and had to sleep in the car. It was no fun, let me tell you - I was hungry, lonely and freezing. I barely slept a wink.
In the morning the snow had melted a bit and I was able to continue on my way.
Having had such a bad night, I decided to go round to my girlfriend's house.
When I got there I parked outside, looked up and saw her at her bedroom window.
She looked so happy to see me. Suddenly I was overcome with emotion because I was so pleased to see her too. We've been together for three years so far and had some wonderful times.
I know it may sound soppy and over-the-top but, at that moment in time, there was no-one else on Earth that I wanted to be with. She was the one.
I got out of the car and made my way towards her front door. The front lawn was a blanket of untouched snow and, with my girlfriend still watching me, an idea crossed my mind. Giddy with emotion, I stepped onto the lawn, got down on one knee and began to carve a message in the snow, letter by letter...
HANNAH, WILL YOU MA...
I looked up and could see her starting to breathe heavily, trying to smile as her eyes welled up with tears...
... KE ME A CUP OF TEA AND A SANDWICH?
That was 4 days ago, and she still isn't speaking to me!!!
-
10-02-2009, 10:28 AM #9008
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green.
When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his ******* forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
-
10-02-2009, 10:30 AM #9009
Oldie
A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course.
Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him.
He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.
She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole."
He thanked her and went back to his golf.
On the back nine the same thing happened and he approached her again with the same request.
She said, "I'm on the 14th, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th."
Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.
He finished his round and went into the club house where he saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar.
He asked the bartender if he knew the lady.
The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.
He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink to show my appreciation for your help. I understand that you are a sales lady .... well, I am in sales also. What do you sell?"
She replied, "If I told you, you would only laugh."
"No I wouldn't," he said and persisted that she tell him what she sold.
"Well if you must know", she answered, "I sell Tampax."
With that, he fell on the floor and laughed so hard he almost lost his breath. She said, "See I knew you would laugh."
"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied, "I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm still a hole behind you!"
-
10-02-2009, 10:31 AM #9010
those are all funny.
+Rep (for one at least )