Funnies

[the_dead_man]

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[Vishay]

[nojoum]

Too bad i can't rep u!!!!!!!!!!

[EvilSpaghetti]

[gerrit1951]

I'm still waiting for my new bike MARK

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The Elephant and the Mouse

A young elephant and young mouse came across each other for the first time:

Mouse: "What are you?"
Elephant: " I'm an elephant"

Mouse: "Aren't you big"
Elephant: " Yes. What are you?

Mouse: " I'm a mouse"
Elephant: " Aren't you small?"

Mouse: " I, I, I've not been well"

Cat and Mice in Heaven

A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, 'You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.' funny picture Cat and Mice in Heaven

The cat thought for a minute and then said, 'All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.'

God said, 'Say no more.' Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.

A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat.

The mice said, 'Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again.'

God answered, 'It is done.' All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.

About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, 'Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?'

The cat replied, 'Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little meals on wheels you have been sending over are delicious!'



Two Funny Cat Jokes

Two female cats are sitting on the fence passing the time of day when a really handsome tomcat walks by and winks at them.

'Oh darling, did you see that one?' one of the felines opines. 'I wouldn't mind sharing a dead mouse with him.'
'Oh, forget about him,' her friend tells her. 'I went out with him once, and all he did was talk about his operation.'
A tomcat was heard running up and down the alley for hours. A neighbour called his owner and asked what was happening. The owner said, 'Well, I had him fixed today, and he's going around cancelling all his engagements.'

Ten Funny Cat One-liners

What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?
A peeping tom.
Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
What is a cat's way of keeping law and order?
Claw Enforcement.
What is the name of the unauthorised autobiography of the cat?
Hiss and Tell.
What is a moggy's favourite colour?
Purrrrrrrple!
What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck?
A duck filled fatty puss.
What does a kitty like to eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
How many cats can you put into an empty box?
Only one. After that, the box isn't empty.
What do you use to comb a cat?
A catacomb.
Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide?
Because he's always spotted. Funny Cats Sayings

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[svenny000]

[nojoum]

Jurie's Childhood!!!!!!!!!

[nojoum]

[Vishay]

[EvilSpaghetti]