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[NaturalMystyk27]

[NaturalMystyk27]

[NaturalMystyk27]

[NaturalMystyk27]

[NaturalMystyk27]

[NaturalMystyk27]

[Noxide]

There are un-written rules that everyone who rides
elevators follow whether they know it or not. It's not
something that anyone has placed into effect by law...
It's just the way things are....

1. When you are waiting for an elevator and there are
two sets, the one that is the greatest distance from
you will open first.

2. While you are riding the elevator, it is not permissible
to look anyone in the eyes. The proper place to stare is
at the floor or at the numbers.

3. The person at the very back of the elevator will always
be the one who needs off first.

4. If you are on the top floor of a 32 story building and
needed to go the 1st floor, the elevator will stop 31
times before you reach the ground.

5. If you get off on the wrong floor and realize it the
instant your foot hits the ground outside the elevator,
it's much too embarrassing to admit you are wrong,
so you stay outside the door and act like you know
what you're doing then catch the next one and hope
all the people you were with have gotten off.

6. When there are six elevator doors, the one you
stand in front of will be the last to open.

7. When the elevator is the most full, one of two
people will be on with you: an extremely sick man
who coughs constantly and then gets off on the same
floor you do, or a lady with a baby that screams through
the entire ride.

8. Don't pass gas in an elevator even if you are all
alone because when you do, the very next stop will
have ten people waiting to get on. It's always best
to wait until the elevator is full then no one knows
who to blame.

9. If you speak to a stranger in an elevator there will
always be nervous laughter.

10. The friendliest person on the elevator that insists
on talking to you will always have bad breath and
body odor.

11. Elevators force us to be close to people that we
would never choose to be around otherwise. If you
want a cultural experience, spend a day riding
elevators around town.

12. The first person to get on the elevator gets the
command position next to the buttons so that they
can feel important when people ask them to punch
their floor for them.

13. While waiting on an elevator, there will always
be one person to comment on how slow the elevator
is and then push the up or down button over and over
as if that will make it speed up.

14. Once inside the elevator that same person will
repeatedly punch the button for their floor thinking
that this also will speed up the elevator.

15. On top of the list of the most annoying elevator pet
peeves is the parent who will allow their child to push
the buttons and then smile at you after the kid has
pushed all 26 buttons while you are on the first floor
needing to get to the 25th floor. Then at every floor the
kid will yell "Is this where we get off?"

16. The floor that is labeled the 1st floor is not really
the 1st floor but is in reality the basement. The 1st
floor is actually labeled the 2nd floor.

17. If you are not in any hurry, there will always be an
empty elevator just waiting with the doors open just
for you by yourself.

18. In buildings where smoking is allowed, there will
always be one person who insist on taking the last
drag off their cigarette putting it out then waiting to
exhale until the elevator door closes with you
trapped inside. ( Old one I am sure ! )

19. If a child rides the elevator, they will have a balloon
that just happens to be at your face level and there is
no place to turn. Popping the balloon is a strong
temptation.

20. I would rather ride the elevator with people than
take the stairs alone!

[Noxide]

A German, an American and an Englishman were exploring the jungle when they came across an breathtakingly beautiful waterfall.

After admiring it for a while, the American says, "When I look at this waterfall, I think of the great American Constitution, you know, where every atom of water is like an individual who has the freedom to make it's own way through the world in unison with nature".

The German says, "When I look at this waterfall, I think of the great German economy, strong and powerful and smooth running".

The Englishman, when asked about his thoughts says, "When I look at this waterfall, I think of oral sex".

The American and the German look at him in amazement.

"What is it about this waterfall makes you think of oral sex?"

"Uh. everything I look at makes me think of oral sex".

[Noxide]

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[Noxide]

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