Funnies

[Michelle]

That is so funny lmao

[Vishay]

[Vishay]

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

When a cell phone on a bench rings, a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk....

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: I am at the mall and found a beautiful leather coat. It's $1,000. Can I buy it?"

MAN: "OK, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2002 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: How much?"

WOMAN: $60,000.

MAN: "For that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! One more thing. ... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're only asking $450,000."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and buy it but just offer $420,000."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you too."

The man hangs up. The other men are looking at him in astonishment

Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

[Noxide]

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[Noxide]

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[MobileNeedsGames]

I see that noxide likes the Cheezburger network...
Or is a friend of irony

[Noxide]

I see that noxide likes the Cheezburger network...
Or is a friend of irony

I'm innocent.

I got that on email

I do like Cheeseburgers though.

Mmmm


Hungry now.

[Vishay]

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I`ll have a C monkey please."
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That`ll be $5000."
The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. The cost of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can program in C; very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage.
"That one`s even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"
"Oh, that one s a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000.
He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the other put together! What on earth does it do?"
The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven`t actually seen it do anything, but it says it`s a Project Manager."

[jmarin]

[Beerankutty]

A women was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in trap.
The frog said to she,"If you release me from this trap,I will grant you three wishes"
The woman freed the frog,and the frog said,"thank you,but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for,Your husband will get times ten!".
The woman said,"That's okay"
for her first wish,She wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.The frog warned her,
"You do realise that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world,an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied "That's okay,because I will be the most beautifull woman and he will have eyes only for me. "So KAZAM- She's the most beautiful woman in the world for her second wish she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said,"That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said,"That's okay,because What's mine is his and what's his is mine." So KAZAM- She's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and She answered,
" I'd like a mild heart attack."