Funnies

[sajeer]

Good ones Vivian.......
+ rep......

[sajeer]

Try our peanuts imported from the US!



Responsibility can not be born



Hot Dogs Anyone?



Should have never put wheels on that throne…



Tired of seeing?

Eye makeup remover from Japan

[Vivian]

Good ones Vivian.......
+ rep......

Thanks.

Returned.

[Noxide]

World's Shortest Fairytale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!" And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased... did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many boyfriends, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theatre, never watched football, never wore fricken lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants, and burped, swore, and farted all the time.


THE END

[Noxide]

My neighbour found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the Veterinarian.

He found that the problem was hair in its ears.

So he cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine.

The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from recurring she should go to the store and get some 'Nair' hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.

The lady goes to the chemist and gets some 'Nair' hair remover.
At the register the chemist tells her,

'If you're going to use this under your arms don't use any deodorant for a few days.'

The lady says: 'I'm not using it under my arms.'

The chemist says: 'If you're using it on your legs don't shave for a couple of days.'

The lady says: 'I'm not using it on my legs either.

But if you must know, .....I'm using it on my schnauzer.'

The chemist says: 'Stay off your bicycle for a week.'

[Noxide]

There are several men in the locker room of a private club after exercising.

Suddenly a cell phone that was on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues:

"Hello?"

"Honey, It's me. Are you at the club?"

"Yes."

"Great! I am at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful mink coat... It is absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"

"What's the price?"

"Only $1,500.00"

"Well, OK, go ahead and get, if you like it that much..."

"Ahhh and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..."

"What price did he quote you?"

"Only $60,000..."

"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

"Great! Before we hang up, something else..."

"What?"

"It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and... I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property..."

"How much are they asking?"

"Only $450,000... a magnificent price, and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."

"Well, than go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?"

"OK, sweetie... Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"

"Bye... I do too..."

The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present: "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

[sajeer]

[sajeer]

[Lemmings]

Irony.jpg

[Noxide]

Irony.jpg

I wonder if he realizes what he's doing to himself!!