Funnies

[Noxide]

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[Noxide]

When his son refused to get a job, his father insisted he join the Marines.

At the induction physical, the doctor directed the reluctant naked recruit to read the eye chart across the room.

"What chart?" the young man asked.

"The one on the wall!" The doctor said."What wall?

Sensing he had a deadbeat on his hands, the doctor asked his beautiful nurse to walk in naked.

"What do you see now?"

"Nothing."

"Well, you may not see anything," the doctor said, "but your 'indicator' is pointing toward Paris Island !

Welcome to the Marine Corps, son

[Andy]

1990 to 2008
Attachment 4977

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[DipShyt]

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men.

He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.

"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.

She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel?"

He replied, "It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken."

[Andy]

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u got that right

[DipShyt]

WOMAN'S LOVE POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks.
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed.
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind.
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.


MAN'S LOVE POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with
Huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
And loves to send me fishing and hunting. This
Doesn't rhyme and I don't give a ****.

[Noxide]

where've you been Dominee?

[Andy]

where've you been Dominee?

dominee? (dipshyt?)

[DipShyt]

Hi M8

Was on a couple of training courses since last week Wednesday...
Back in the office & doing nothing again

[Andy]

Hi M8

Was on a couple of training courses since last week Wednesday...
Back in the office & doing nothing again