Funnies

[Noxide]

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that
they decide to go to the girl's place.

A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then
washes his hands.

He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again.

The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a
dentist.."

The guy, surprised, says "Yes....how did you figure that out?"

"Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands."

One thing led to another and they make love.

After they are done, the girl says, "You must be a good
dentist."

The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good
dentist, how did you figure that out?"

"Didn't feel a thing."

[Noxide]

Open at own risk

[DipShyt]

Open at own risk

Now I want cupcakes...

[Noxide]

PG13 Gynecologist's Assistant Opening

A young man goes into the Job Center in Edmonton, Alberta and sees a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested he goes to learn more - 'Can you give me some more details about this?' he asks the guy behind the desk.

The Job Center man sorts through his files & replies - 'Oh yes here it is : The job entails you getting the lady patients ready for the gynecologist. You have to help them out of their underwear, lie them down and carefully wash their genital regions. You then apply shaving foam and gently shave off all their pubic hair then rub in soothing oils so that they're ready for the gynecologist's examination. There's an annual salary of $45,000, but you're going to have to go to Red Deer, Alberta. That's about 160 kilometres from here.'

'Oh why, is that where the job's at?'

'No sir - that's where the queue starts!'

[Kevin]

It is -14c here
ATT00010.gif

[Noxide]

Buddy I don't want to be funny, but that does not belong in the funny thread. In fact, we should start a "serious" thread just for that!!!

How do you stay alive in that weather? How are you managing to type?

[Kevin]

fireplace.gif

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[Kevin]

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very
nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her
nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve
herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair,
and said in a rather stern voice, 'Skippy!'.
The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain
again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, 'Skippy!'
Once again the woman smiled and thought 'Yes!' A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it.
She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, 'Skippy, get out from under that chair before she shits on you!'

[Noxide]

Laughing012.gif

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[Noxide]

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