Funnies

[EvilSpaghetti]

Attachment 18623.................

How... Lovely.

[DipShyt]

I know some people are desperate to get a high post count but this is rediculous!

A man, visiting San Francisco, noticed a musty curio shop, which seemed to be forgotten by time. It seemed very out of place in the busy city. The man's curiosity was piqued, and he entered the shop. The store didn't seem to have much traffic, and the shelves were full of dusty, but interesting items. The man found himself strangely interested in a rather ugly brass rat on a shelf behind the counter. Ugly it was, but he had never seen anything like it -- it was so incredibly detailed, and life-like. He asked the shopkeeper for a price.
The man was pleased to learn that he could acquire the rat for only $5, and he handed the shopkeeper the money. But, before giving the man the rat, the shopkeeper sternly warned him, "This sale is final. If you leave the shop with the brass rat, I won't take it back under any circumstances."
The man thought the warning was curious, given that the rat only cost $5. Even if he decided he hated the rat, that was hardly an amount worth worrying about. He agreed to the shopkeeper's terms, and left with the rat.
At first, everything seemed perfectly normal. But, as he walked back toward his car, the man started to hear strange rustling noises around him. Then he saw a life rat scurry out of an alley, and start to follow him. Suddenly, rats seemed to be appearing all around him, streaming out of sewers and dumpsters, all following him and milling about his feet.
The man began to run, but the rats kept up in increasing numbers. The man realized that he was being chased by literally tens of thousands of rats. The ground came alive, as the rats swarmed behind him.
The man suddenly realized the significance of the shopkeeper's warning, and knew what he had to do. He turned toward the bay, and ran as quickly as he could toward the water. When he reached the waterfront, he threw the brass rat as far as he could into the bay. The rats raced past him, following the rat into the water, where they drowned.
The man returned to the curio shop, and upon seeing him enter the shopkeeper shouted, "I told you, no refunds. I don't want trouble here. The sale was final, and you can't return the merchandise."
The man smiled, and replied, "Oh, I don't want to return the rat. I just want to know -- do you have a brass lawyer in stock?"

A man walks into an antique store and begins browsing through the merchandise. A small bronze sculpture of a rat catches his eye. For some reason, this curio fascinates him and he decides that he has to have it. So he picks it up and walks over to the proprietor.
"How much for this?", he asks.
"I'd think twice about getting that if I were you. Everyone who's bought it before has come back the next day to return it," says the proprietor.
"Why?"
"I don't know--but they seem to be in an awful hurry to get rid of it."
The customer thinks this over and finally decides to purchase the item. He walks out of the store and begins to make his way home. As he is walking down a dark alley, he hears a scuttling noise behind him. Quickly turning around, he sees two rats following him down the path. "That's odd", he thinks to himself and begins to walk faster. A few minutes later, he turns around again and this time there are 3 dozen rats following him! He begins to break into a trot. Next time he turns around, there are 200 rats! Now he's running as fast as he can. After a couple of minutes, he can't stand the suspense any longer and looks over his shoulder... Thousands of rats, as far as the eye can see, are marching behind him! Now he begins to panic. He looks at the figurine in his hand and it dawns on him what's going on. He changes direction and begins to make his way to the waterfront. When he reaches the harbor, he takes the figure and hurls it into the water. Thousands of rats dive into the water after it and drown! The next day, the man returns to the antique shop. The owner is astonished to find him empty-handed.
"You didn't bring it back??" he inquires.
"No, I've got just one question. Do you have one that's shaped like a lawyer?"

[Noxide]

[EvilSpaghetti]

Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games. There are not ties.

Explain this.








they are not playing each other.

[Noxide]

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[EvilSpaghetti]

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[Noxide]

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[EvilSpaghetti]

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[Noxide]

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[Noxide]

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