Results 4,981 to 4,990 of 16280
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10-10-2008, 10:27 AM #4981
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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10-10-2008, 10:28 AM #4982
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HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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10-10-2008, 10:29 AM #4983
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LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
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10-10-2008, 10:29 AM #4984
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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
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10-10-2008, 10:30 AM #4985
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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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10-10-2008, 10:30 AM #4986
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Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
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10-10-2008, 10:33 AM #4987
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What do you call someone that hangs around with musicians?
A drummer
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10-10-2008, 10:34 AM #4988
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What's a definition of Suspicion?
A nun doing press-ups in a cucumber field
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10-10-2008, 10:35 AM #4989
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What's a definition of innocence?
A nun working in a condom factory thinking she was making sleeping bags for mice.
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10-10-2008, 10:36 AM #4990
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Why did the blonde get fired from the M+M's factory?
She kept throwing away all the W's!
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