Funnies

[Noxide]

• Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
  
• Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
  
• Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  
  

[Noxide]

• Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.
  
• Get a new car for your spouse; it'll be a great trade!
  
• He who laughs last thinks slowest.

[Noxide]

• Honk if you want to see my finger.
  
• How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
  
• How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
  
• I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

[Noxide]

• I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
  
• I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
  
• I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
  
• I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

[Noxide]

• I used to have a handle on life, and then it broke.
  
• I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
  
• I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
  
• I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

[Noxide]

• If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  
• If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

[Noxide]

• If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
  
• If you get to it and you can't do it, well there you jolly well are, aren't you.
  
• If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
  
• If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

[Noxide]

• IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
  

[Noxide]

• It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
  
• It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
  
• Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

[EvilSpaghetti]

why did the Koala fall out of the tree?
it was dead

why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree?
it was stapled to the first koala

why did the 3rd Koala fall out of the tree?
It thought it was a game.