Funnies

[Noxide]

Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began? California? Oregon? Switzerland? Most believe it originated in Switzerland, but here's the real version.

Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland. Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.

As the story goes, the farmer's daughter came down from upstairs and asked her father, "Who is that man going into the barn?"

"That's some fellow traveling through," said the farmer. "He needs a place to stay for the night, so I said he could sleep in the barn."

The daughter said, "Perhaps he is hungry." So she prepared him a plate of food and took it out to the barn.

About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled and straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.

The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn, and she too did not return for an hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly and her hair all messed up. She also headed straight to bed.

The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left. When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. "How could he leave without even saying goodbye," she cried. "We made such passionate love last night!"

"What?" shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain. The farmer screamed up at him, "I'm going to get you! You had sex with my daughter!"

The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out, "LAIDTHEOLADEETOO."

[Noxide]

There once was a man from Australia,
Who had extra-large genitalia.
He said to his bride,
"Don't try to hide,
Cause wherever ya go I can nail ya."


Let's try it this new way," said Jack
As he winked at the girl in the sack.
She turned and she grunted,
"I should be affronted,
But this time I'm taken aback!"


A young man from a lofty sierra
Found sex both a puzzle and terror.
But he met with a lass
In a similar pass
And they both learned--by trial and error.


There once was a man from Madrass,
whose balls were made out of brass,
when he'd bang 'em together,
they'd play stormy weather,
and lightning would shoot out of his ass.

[Noxide]

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