Results 1,541 to 1,550 of 16280
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17-05-2008, 07:58 PM #1541
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17-05-2008, 08:00 PM #1542
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17-05-2008, 08:01 PM #1543
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17-05-2008, 08:48 PM #1544
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17-05-2008, 10:01 PM #1545
Some short ones....
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A cartoon.
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!
What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
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17-05-2008, 10:16 PM #1546
Well.....
Because I'm a man,
when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.
Because I'm a man,
when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
Because I'm a man,
you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
Because I'm a man,
and this is, after all,after the 90's, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest.
THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE FOR WOMEN, TO BETTER UNDERSTAND THE MALE ANIMAL.
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something for everyone
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18-05-2008, 02:20 AM #1547
HA HA What about this ?
ON MONEY
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
ON BATHROOMS
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, tooth paste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
ON ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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18-05-2008, 06:33 AM #1548
lol... wat bout dis??
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking
me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing
to them at funerals.
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18-05-2008, 09:35 AM #1549Originally Posted by gerrit1951 Log in to see links
Originally Posted by Songbird Log in to see links
Originally Posted by gerrit1951 Log in to see links
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18-05-2008, 10:00 AM #1550Originally Posted by cornet1994 Log in to see links
him reading is so funny