Funnies

[gerrit1951]

A Warning !!!

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[Andy]

.......................

[EvilSpaghetti]

evening all

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[80beyond]

Hi there


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[EvilSpaghetti]

heeeeeeeeeey

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^^ haha my first animation

how rubbish it was

[EvilSpaghetti]

Pie!!!

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[80beyond]

Ah well you have to start somewhere

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some where over the rainbooooooooooow

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[Noxide]

It seems researchers at the University of Mississippi Medical
school, have come up with the first marijuana-based medical
suppository. The only drawback so far is that approximately ten
minutes after insertion, you have an overpowering urge to shove a
Twinkie up your a$$

[Noxide]

• One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever.
  The diver went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. The diver went below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joined him.
  This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof pad and pencil, and wrote, “Amazing! How are you able to stay this deep down without equipment?”
  The guy took the pencil and pad, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, “I’m drowning, you moron!”
  
  
  
• Did you know Captain Kirk has three ears?
  A left ear, a right ear and a final front ear

[Noxide]

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."