Funnies

[amaway]

Q)What does a blonde put behind her ear to make herself more attractive?
A)Her Ankles.


Q)What are the three most common things a blonde says after having sex with a group of guys
A) 1) Thanks Guys
2)Are you all in the same band.
3)Do you all play for the Green Bay Packers


Q)What does a blonde and a Screen door have in common?
A) The more you bang, the Looser it gets.


Q)What is blonde,Brunette,Blonde,Brunette....
A)A blonde doing cartwheels.


Q)Why do blondes have a hard time getting pregnant?
A)Becuase they blow it each time.


Q)Whats the two most irratating part of a blondes Vagina?
A)1)The other Blonde
2)Other guyd waiting thier turn.


Q)Why are blondes like cornflakes?
A)Because they're simple easy, and taste good.


Q)Whats a blondes favorite Nursery Ryme
A) Humpme Dumpme.


Q)Why is blonde like an old washing machine?
A) Becuase they both drip after they're ******.


Q)How would a blonde punctuate the following "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A) Fun Period Fun Period Fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry.

[amaway]

Q)What is a blondes version of safe sex?
A)Lock the Car door


Q)How does a blonde Interpret 6.9?
A)69 with a Period in the Middle.


Q)Whats the deffernce a blonde having her Period, and a Terrorist?
A)You can negotiate with Terrorist.


Q) Whats the Defferance between a blonde and a Toilet?
A)A Toilet wont follow you after you use it.


Q)What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A)Two tight ends and a wide recerver.


Q)How is a blonde like a frying pan?
A)You have to get them hot, before you put in the meat.


Q)Whats the defferance between a rapid Pitbull and a blonde with PMS.
A)Lipstick


Q)How do blondes get ooze in their belly buttons?
A)From blonde men.


Q)What do you call a lesbian Blonde?
A)A waiste.


Q)Whats the defferance between Indiana and a blonde?
A)a Blonde has higher hills, and Deeper Vallies..

[amaway]

Q)What does a blonde look for after sex?
A)I dont know, im already gone.


Q)What does an airplane and a blonde have in common?
A)they both have cockpits.


Q)Why is a blonde like a shotgun?
A)Give her a cock, and shes ready to blow.


Q) Whats the Differance between a blonde and a Mesquito?
A)When you slap the Mesquito it stops sucking


Q)What does a smart blonde, and a T-rex have in common?
A)Know one knows, no bodies seen either


Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.


Q. How does a blonde part their hair?
A. By doing the splits


Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball


Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread

Q. What do you call an eternity?
A. Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.


Q. What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you?
A. Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!


Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a shower?
A: A shower has to be turned on to get wet.

[amaway]

A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn't hear her correctly and says, "come again?" The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, "oh, no it's just mustard this time."




A blonde was shopping at a target store & came across silver Thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & brought ti over to the clerk to ask what it was,?
The clerk said, "why thats a thermos...... it keeps things hot & some things cold.
Wow , said the blonde, "thats amazing.....I'm going to buy it !" So she bought the Thermos & took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. "Whats that he asked.?
"Why thats a Thermos........ it keeps hot things hot & cold things cold," shre replied.
Her bos inquired , "What do you have in it ?"
The blonde replied. "Two popsicles, and some coffee..."



Did ya hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive in movie? They went to see " Closed for the winter."

Did ya hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage, and Twelve blondes were stuck on the ESCALATORS for over four hours.

[EvilSpaghetti]

one from this morning, messing around in school

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[amaway]

An Italian man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a nearby table. ...Alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for the most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her, knowing that if she accepts it, she will be his. The waiter gets the bottle and quickly takes it to her saying who it came from. She looks at the bottle and decides to send a note over to the man. The note said "For me to accept this bottle, you must have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank , and 7 inches in your pants.." After reading the note, the man sends one back to her and it read: "Just so you know, I have a Ferrari testarosa, a BMW 850iL, and a Mercedes 560 sel, I have over 20 million in the bank, but not even for a woman as beautiful as you would I cut off 3 inches! Just send the bottle back

[EvilSpaghetti]

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....

[EvilSpaghetti]

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anyone for wine

[EvilSpaghetti]

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i have one of them

and its rubbish

[Andy]

A man noticed a woman in the grocery store with a three-year-old girl in her cart.

As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her no.

The little girl immediately began to have a conniption fit, and the mother said quietly,
"Now Missy, we just have half of the aisles left to go through, don't be upset. It won't be long."

In the candy aisle, the little girl began to shout for treats.

When mom said she couldn't have any, she began to kick her mother and scream. The mother said softly, "There, there, Missy, don't cry, only two more aisles to go and then we'll be checking out."

When they got to the checkout stand, the little brat immediately began to reach for the gum and freaked out when her mom said she couldn't have any.

The mother patiently said, "Missy, we'll be through this checkout stand in five minutes and then you can go home and have a bottle and a nice snooze."

The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Missy," he said.

The mother sighed and replied, "Oh, no, my little girl's name is Francine, I'm Missy.

Someone went a bit mad me thinks