Funnies

[dame2k8]

How do you get picture's up because i can only click the paperclip for an attachment i don't no how to show my picture's help apriciated.

[EvilSpaghetti]

http://forum.mobiles24.com/showthread.php?t=6242

i know it says games

but its the same method for pictures

[Noxide]

A man noticed a woman in the grocery store with a three-year-old girl in her cart.

As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her no.

The little girl immediately began to have a conniption fit, and the mother said quietly,
"Now Missy, we just have half of the aisles left to go through, don't be upset. It won't be long."

In the candy aisle, the little girl began to shout for treats.

When mom said she couldn't have any, she began to kick her mother and scream. The mother said softly, "There, there, Missy, don't cry, only two more aisles to go and then we'll be checking out."

When they got to the checkout stand, the little brat immediately began to reach for the gum and freaked out when her mom said she couldn't have any.

The mother patiently said, "Missy, we'll be through this checkout stand in five minutes and then you can go home and have a bottle and a nice snooze."

The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Missy," he said.

The mother sighed and replied, "Oh, no, my little girl's name is Francine, I'm Missy.

[Noxide]

A man, about to undergo an IRS audit, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let them think you are a pauper."

Then he asked his legal counsel the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your finest suit and tie."

Utterly confused at this point, the man went to his rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of his dilemma.

"Let me tell you a story," replied the rabbi. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.'

But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. 'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel.'

The man protested: "Rabbi, what does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?"

"Don't you see? It doesn't matter what you wear my son! Either way, the results will be the same..."

[EvilSpaghetti]

just a quick one

INDYposter.jpg

[EvilSpaghetti]

beta451.jpg

....

[amaway]

A girl came skipping home from school one day.

'Mommy, Mommy,' she yelled, 'we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!'


'Very good,' said her mother.


'Is it because I'm blonde?' the girl said. 'Yes, it's because you're blonde,' said the mommy.


The next day the girl came skipping home from school. 'Mommy, Mommy,' she yelled, 'we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!'


'Very good,' said her mother.


'Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?'


'Yes, it's because you're blonde.'


The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy,' she yelled, 'we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!' And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.


'Very good,' said her embarrassed mother.


'Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?'


'No Honey, it's because you're 24.'

[amaway]

A plane is on its way to Houston when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for Economy and that she will have to sit in the back.
The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston and I'm staying right here!"

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and copilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat. The copilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.


The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston and I'm staying right here!"


The copilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason. The pilot says "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde!"


He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says "Oh,I'm sorry." She gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy section.

The flight attendant and copilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.


"I told her First Class isn't going to Houston "

[amaway]

Q) What is the Defferance between a blonde and an ironing board?
A) An Ironing boards legs are harder to get open


Q) How do you confuse a blonde?
A)put her in a round room, and tell her to sit in the corner.
Q)How does a blonde Confuse you?
A)she comes out and tells you she did it.


Two blondes are walking down the Street, one blonde says look at that dog with< one eye. the other blonde puts her hand over her eye and goes where.


Q) how does a blonde get a tan?
A)She sits under a tree.


Q)How do you know a blonde is having a bad day?
A)Her Tampon is in her ear, and she cant find her pencil.


Q)What did the blondes father say to his blonde daughter?
A)If your not in bed by 11 come home.


Q)What did one blondes leg say to the Other?
A)Between you and me, we could make a lot of money.


Q)What does blondes and Computers have in common?
A) They both go down.


Q)What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common?
A)They both been laid all over America.


Q)How do you know a blondes been using a computer?
A)The Joystick is wet.

[EvilSpaghetti]

A girl came skipping home from school one day.

'Mommy, Mommy,' she yelled, 'we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!'


'Very good,' said her mother.


'Is it because I'm blonde?' the girl said. 'Yes, it's because you're blonde,' said the mommy.


The next day the girl came skipping home from school. 'Mommy, Mommy,' she yelled, 'we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!'


'Very good,' said her mother.


'Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?'


'Yes, it's because you're blonde.'


The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy,' she yelled, 'we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!' And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.


'Very good,' said her embarrassed mother.


'Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?'


'No Honey, it's because you're 24.'

haha i love blonde jokes