Funnies

[DipShyt]

oops!

[Noxide]

Bob went to a doctor and asked him if he ever laughed at a patient. The Doctor replied 'Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.'

'Okay then,' Bob said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'whoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen.

It couldn't have been bigger than the size of an AAA battery.

Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, and then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.

'I'm so sorry,' said the doctor. 'I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now, what seems to be the problem?'

'It's swollen,' Bob replied.

[Kevin]

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[DipShyt]

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[DipShyt]

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asks, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My goodness!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

[Chris]

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asks, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My goodness!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

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[Kevin]

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[Noxide]

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[Noxide]

• A soldier came to a fork in the road and saw a nun standing there.
  
  He asked her, "Please Sister, may I hide under your skirts for a few minutes. I'll explain why later."
  
  The nun agreed to his request. Shortly hereafter, the two MPs came running a long and asked her if she had seen a soldier running down the road. She replied, "He went that way".
  
  After the MPs disappeared, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said." I can't thank you enough Sister, but you see I don't want to go to Iraq. The nun said she understood.
  
  The GI said, "I hope you don't think me rude or impertinent, but you have the most beautiful pair of legs I've ever seen!"
  
  The nun replied," If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen the most beautiful pair of balls you've ever seen! I don't want to go to Iraq either!"
  
  
  
• A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down.
  
  An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.
  
  She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was
  uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a
  'Ye-e-e-e-h- a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills.
  
  When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled
  one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h! - a-a-a -a!' and rode off. 'What did you do to get that
  Indian so excited?' asked the service-station attendant.
  
  'Nothing,' the woman answered.' I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held on to the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.'
  
  'Lady,' the attendant said, 'Indians don't use saddles.

[Noxide]

What a joke!!!
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