Funnies

[Kevin]

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name.

[Noxide]

Page 100 woo hoo!

[Chris]

does it work with a desk with wheels?

[Andy]

Page 100 woo hoo!

[DipShyt]

does it work with a desk with wheels?

Probably... cornering might be a bit harder though

[DipShyt]

A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband, ‘I look horrible, I feel fat & ugly, pay me a compliment!'
He replies, ‘you have perfect eyesight!'

Wife gets naked & asks hubby, ‘what turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
Hubby looks her up & down and replies, 'Your sense of humour!'

[DipShyt]

From one extreme to the other...

Graduation.jpg

Gun shortage.jpg

[DipShyt]

Who said chivalry is dead?

Chivalry.jpg

Then again they can be grateful they aren't trying to push this guy...

Suspension.jpg

[Noxide]

• A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to 'write' with it.
  
  Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great... some asshole's got my pen."
  
  
  
• A woman's husband comes home hammered every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone.
  
  One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she's waiting for him in her best lingerie. She sits him in an armchair and gives him a backrub.
  
  It's getting late, big boy, she says after a few minutes. Why don't we go upstairs to bed.
  
  We might as well, slurs the husband. I'm going to be in trouble when I get home, anyway.
  

[Noxide]

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair.
So she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.
She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically, the blonde says "Shut up your next!"