Results 10,031 to 10,040 of 16280
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23-03-2009, 07:53 AM #10031
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23-03-2009, 07:56 AM #10032
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23-03-2009, 08:04 AM #10033
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23-03-2009, 08:42 AM #10034Originally Posted by Noxide Log in to see links
What do you get if you cross an overweight golfer and a pair of very tight trousers?
A hole in one
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23-03-2009, 08:45 AM #10035
What do you get if you cross a cow with a grass cutter?
A lawn mooer
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23-03-2009, 08:45 AM #10036
What do you get if you cross a ice cream with a dog?
Frost-bite
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23-03-2009, 08:46 AM #10037
What do you get if you cross a large computer and a beefburger?
A big mac
What do you get if you cross an overheating large computer with a beerburger?
A big mac and fries
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23-03-2009, 08:50 AM #10038Originally Posted by Lemmings Log in to see links
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23-03-2009, 08:59 AM #10039
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23-03-2009, 09:00 AM #10040
New Heavy Metal ELEMENT
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has
been named "Governmentium".
Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected
as it impedes every reaction with which in comes into contact. A minute amount
of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete
when it would normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years; it does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons
and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will
actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to
become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that
governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as
"Critical Morass". You will know it when you see it.