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08-07-2009, 07:21 PM
the_dead_man

Quote:

Originally Posted by tekina

see, im always right :cool:

take some rep then:cool:
08-07-2009, 08:25 PM
antonio

Quote:

Originally Posted by the_dead_man

take some rep then:cool:

listen this is a thread about poems not about rep:mad:

then the new prizes are

1st-40rep

2nd-25rep

3rd-15rep
08-07-2009, 08:27 PM
the_dead_man

Quote:

Originally Posted by antonio

listen this is a thread about poems not about rep:mad:

then the new prizes are

1st-40rep

2nd-25rep

3rd-15rep

you did not answer my question;) who will give this rep?
08-07-2009, 08:36 PM
antonio

these are mine(finalists must write 3 poems)
1.
If I have kissed you once,
I have kissed you 1000 times.

Each morning as I arise.
Each night as I drift to sleep.
Each hour of every day.
Each moment before it goes away.

The kisses shared between you and I,
Have many times reached the sky.
As your lips part and anxiousness increases,
Your heart pounds and breathing ceases.

My lips leap to yours hungry for the taste.
Sweetness drips from you to me
As desire grows, my heart races.
Inches apart seem as miles waiting.

The miles increase as space shortens.
Time appears to stand still.
So close yet so far.
When? Now, please now?

Once more, 1001.
Make it 2, so many more.
Caressing ever caressing those
Tender lips, each time as the first.

If I have kissed you 1000 times,
I would give them all away
To make the dream a reality,
And kiss you once.

2.
I look upon her face lying on my pillow
Lit by the light of my bedroom window
Wrapped within my gently arms
Knowing she will come to no harm

I look upon her hair, soft and fair
Unable to find the words to compare
Answers she has given me in times of pain
That love and hope will visit again

I look upon her lips, moist and red
Giving me life when all was dead
She restored my heart when it was lost
Melting what was covered in frost

I look upon her breasts, firm and strong
Knowing that love could not be wrong
Slowly moving with every breath
Always knowing she was not like the rest

I look upon her hips, round and smooth
Gently touching not daring to move
I fix the sheets with delicate care
But a gentle kiss is all I dare

I look upon her face staring into mine
Filling my body as if it were wine
I close her eyes with gentle kisses
For she has answered all my wishes.

3.If dreams were given to a lonely man
and a lonely man's dreams came true,
I'd force myself to sleep all the time
just so I could dream of you

If wishes were given to a lonely man
and I was given just two,
I'd wish for you to always love me
and the other I'd give to you

If my tears could write a love song
I'd write a love song for you,
It would explain just how I feel inside
and how much I love you too

But, dreams are only dreams
and wishes seldom come true,
My tears can't write a love song,
but when they fall, they fall for you

hope you like them:)
09-07-2009, 09:20 AM
rivster

Here are my entries:
1)
The Pursuit of Superficial Happiness

As far as you are concerned,the title is weird.
That's just half the story.
I have something to say about the rat race and you,
And it's implications,which are gory.

Friends,you lug hours in front of books,
You remember formulae and theory and wring your brain dry,
You solve sums too,
But tell me this,just one word,why?

Yeah,you will argue that you get a good percentage,
and then be a good lad,
Even get a high paying job,
But,tell me this,are you really glad?

Don't get me wrong,but here's the deal,
Before you know it,you have to lug for years,
A good job ensures a good income.
But it also ensures tears.

Tears.When you look back to see what you loved about your life,
You will only find this word,hate,
Before you realize it,you are too old to do anything,
Then you say,"Uh Oh,it's too late!"

Let me say this,God gives you one life,
one life,to do what you really want,
To grow up and say that you loved it,
Something that you can flaunt.

Why do you follow everyone else?
Why do you go with the flow?
Try doing something out of the box,for once,
I am sure it will make you mellow.

Yeah,you will argue,if you try to be different,
There's no money,
If you try to be one in a million,but I will tell you this,
If you are sincere,you will earn,without even looking up a cranny.

I hope I have made myself clear,
My view,before you I have sketched,
It's up to you,how you take it,
Whether you think of it seriously or you fling it as far fetched.

2)
Fighting Factions

The flashy red car speeds on the cloud-like road,
with all the seeds of technology sowed;
The artist on the sidewalk begs for a living,
and dreams of himself inside that red car,waving;
The established artist sees technology as a given,
and the budding scientist grumbles at the artist's nature,vain;
What we ask for,from the two communities,is a bit more co-operation,
as that will do a whole lot of good to the world,as to the nation;
Since,without science,we know we cannot survive,
but,dearth of arts and humanities also calls for strife.

3)
Kite speak

I am a kite in the big blue sky,
the one that isn't in any syllabi.

The cold,dark wind rocks me this way and that,
as it is so very hard;
this wind isn't just a passing fad,
it makes me feel like a lonely bard.

Why doesn't this gale stop?Why,oh why?
Why doesn't it's force drop?Why,oh why?
Is it my destiny to,forever,sway?
Can't I devise a method to keep it at bay?

I am damned for eternity,
that's already known;
don't you join the same fraternity,
but,be a survivor,without a moan.

Only then can you become a legend in the big blue sky,
the one that is in every syllabi.
09-07-2009, 09:20 AM
jmarin

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

Haikus are easy.

But not all of them make sense.

Refrigerator.

I like James' :) For getting the point spot on 10/10 :thumbsup:
Who will give all those rep :blink: just wondering...
09-07-2009, 09:40 AM
antonio

because Its The Semifinals We All Can Vote Before The Last Poems:):):):)
09-07-2009, 09:42 AM
antonio

Quote:

Originally Posted by rivster

Here are my entries:
1)
The Pursuit of Superficial Happiness

As far as you are concerned,the title is weird.
That's just half the story.
I have something to say about the rat race and you,
And it's implications,which are gory.

Friends,you lug hours in front of books,
You remember formulae and theory and wring your brain dry,
You solve sums too,
But tell me this,just one word,why?

Yeah,you will argue that you get a good percentage,
and then be a good lad,
Even get a high paying job,
But,tell me this,are you really glad?

Don't get me wrong,but here's the deal,
Before you know it,you have to lug for years,
A good job ensures a good income.
But it also ensures tears.

Tears.When you look back to see what you loved about your life,
You will only find this word,hate,
Before you realize it,you are too old to do anything,
Then you say,"Uh Oh,it's too late!"

Let me say this,God gives you one life,
one life,to do what you really want,
To grow up and say that you loved it,
Something that you can flaunt.

Why do you follow everyone else?
Why do you go with the flow?
Try doing something out of the box,for once,
I am sure it will make you mellow.

Yeah,you will argue,if you try to be different,
There's no money,
If you try to be one in a million,but I will tell you this,
If you are sincere,you will earn,without even looking up a cranny.

I hope I have made myself clear,
My view,before you I have sketched,
It's up to you,how you take it,
Whether you think of it seriously or you fling it as far fetched.

2)
Fighting Factions

The flashy red car speeds on the cloud-like road,
with all the seeds of technology sowed;
The artist on the sidewalk begs for a living,
and dreams of himself inside that red car,waving;
The established artist sees technology as a given,
and the budding scientist grumbles at the artist's nature,vain;
What we ask for,from the two communities,is a bit more co-operation,
as that will do a whole lot of good to the world,as to the nation;
Since,without science,we know we cannot survive,
but,dearth of arts and humanities also calls for strife.

3)
Kite speak

I am a kite in the big blue sky,
the one that isn't in any syllabi.

The cold,dark wind rocks me this way and that,
as it is so very hard;
this wind isn't just a passing fad,
it makes me feel like a lonely bard.

Why doesn't this gale stop?Why,oh why?
Why doesn't it's force drop?Why,oh why?
Is it my destiny to,forever,sway?
Can't I devise a method to keep it at bay?

I am damned for eternity,
that's already known;
don't you join the same fraternity,
but,be a survivor,without a moan.

Only then can you become a legend in the big blue sky,
the one that is in every syllabi.

i give you:

1st poem-8/10

2nd poem 8/10

3rd poem-9/10(liked the ending):):)
09-07-2009, 09:48 AM
rivster

Quote:

Originally Posted by antonio

these are mine(finalists must write 3 poems)
1.
If I have kissed you once,
I have kissed you 1000 times.

Each morning as I arise.
Each night as I drift to sleep.
Each hour of every day.
Each moment before it goes away.

The kisses shared between you and I,
Have many times reached the sky.
As your lips part and anxiousness increases,
Your heart pounds and breathing ceases.

My lips leap to yours hungry for the taste.
Sweetness drips from you to me
As desire grows, my heart races.
Inches apart seem as miles waiting.

The miles increase as space shortens.
Time appears to stand still.
So close yet so far.
When? Now, please now?

Once more, 1001.
Make it 2, so many more.
Caressing ever caressing those
Tender lips, each time as the first.

If I have kissed you 1000 times,
I would give them all away
To make the dream a reality,
And kiss you once.

2.
I look upon her face lying on my pillow
Lit by the light of my bedroom window
Wrapped within my gently arms
Knowing she will come to no harm

I look upon her hair, soft and fair
Unable to find the words to compare
Answers she has given me in times of pain
That love and hope will visit again

I look upon her lips, moist and red
Giving me life when all was dead
She restored my heart when it was lost
Melting what was covered in frost

I look upon her breasts, firm and strong
Knowing that love could not be wrong
Slowly moving with every breath
Always knowing she was not like the rest

I look upon her hips, round and smooth
Gently touching not daring to move
I fix the sheets with delicate care
But a gentle kiss is all I dare

I look upon her face staring into mine
Filling my body as if it were wine
I close her eyes with gentle kisses
For she has answered all my wishes.

3.If dreams were given to a lonely man
and a lonely man's dreams came true,
I'd force myself to sleep all the time
just so I could dream of you

If wishes were given to a lonely man
and I was given just two,
I'd wish for you to always love me
and the other I'd give to you

If my tears could write a love song
I'd write a love song for you,
It would explain just how I feel inside
and how much I love you too

But, dreams are only dreams
and wishes seldom come true,
My tears can't write a love song,
but when they fall, they fall for you

hope you like them:)

sorry,but I didn't like the first one.The second one's good and the third's fabulous!
so,1st-7.5/10
2nd-8/10
3rd-9.5/10
09-07-2009, 10:10 AM
antonio

Quote:

Originally Posted by rivster

sorry,but I didn't like the first one.The second one's good and the third's fabulous!
so,1st-7.5/10
2nd-8/10
3rd-9.5/10

thanks and that means that you an I are in the finals cuz we have the same score :wow::wow::wow::clap::clap::clap:
09-07-2009, 10:14 AM
rivster

Quote:

Originally Posted by antonio

thanks and that means that you an I are in the finals cuz we have the same score :wow::wow::wow::clap::clap::clap:

Let's call it a tie,since,you see,we were the only ones who were in the semis and then in the finals too? :blink:
09-07-2009, 10:15 AM
antonio

Quote:

Originally Posted by rivster

Let's call it a tie,since,you see,we were the only ones who were in the semis and then in the finals too? :blink:

seagoddess was in the semis too
09-07-2009, 10:19 AM
rivster

oh,ok,thanks for clarifying.
09-07-2009, 11:43 AM
the_dead_man

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmarin

I like James' :) For getting the point spot on 10/10 :thumbsup:
Who will give all those rep :blink: just wondering...

I don't think anyone is going to give all that rep, unless they plan on repping themselves 40 times
09-07-2009, 12:05 PM
antonio

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmarin

I like James' :) For getting the point spot on 10/10 :thumbsup:
Who will give all those rep :blink: just wondering...

then we will decide how many rep whould the winner get(the winner must not play in the next contest):):)
09-07-2009, 12:08 PM
the_dead_man

reported

6. Personal attacks are prohibited.
Commonly known as flaming, personal attacks are posts which are designed to personally berate or insult another. Text of this nature is not beneficial to the community spirit and will not be tolerated.
09-07-2009, 12:22 PM
SeaGoddess

Quote:

Originally Posted by antonio

why are you even here:mad:.go play with dead people and let us write poems here:mad::mad:

Dip had a point. A really valid one. I don't understand why you insist on offending people, just because they are right.

I retained myself from judging your poems too harsh since you were the one who had the idea of this thread. I studied poetry at the university and trust me, I can distinguish real art from cheap cliches. Also, the manner of judging was far from objective.
09-07-2009, 12:24 PM
the_dead_man

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeaGoddess

Dip had a point. A really valid one. I don't understand why you insist on offending people, just because they are right.

I retained myself from judging your poems too harsh since you were the one who had the idea of this thread. I studied poetry at the university and trust me, I can distinguish real art from cheap cliches. Also, the manner of judging was far from objective.

Indeed, and this judjement isn't fair when competitors are the judges themselves, in-fact this doesn't even look like a competition, plus the judgement wasn't fair enough coz her poems deserved a much higher score...
09-07-2009, 01:17 PM
antonio

Quote:

Originally Posted by the_dead_man

Indeed, and this judjement isn't fair when competitors are the judges themselves, in-fact this doesn't even look like a competition, plus the judgement wasn't fair enough coz her poems deserved a much higher score...

you never judged.your just posting things not related to this post

and hes wright about seagodess but other members all agreed to 8/10
thats still not a bad score(sorry if i hurt you but we ALL gave you a vote sea G.)and dead man Im sorry too i just that i wanna make this post go on and on

plus there will be other contests and dead man you can orgenize them:):)
09-07-2009, 01:20 PM
tekina

Quote:

Originally Posted by antonio

you never judged.your just posting things not related to this post

and hes wright about seagodess but other members all agreed to 8/10
thats still not a bad score(sorry if i hurt you but we ALL gave you a vote sea G.)and dead man Im sorry too i just that i wanna make this post go on and on

plus there will be other contests and dead man you can orgenize them:):)

contests?:blink:
did I miss something?
09-07-2009, 01:21 PM
antonio

Quote:

Originally Posted by tekina

contests?:blink:
did I miss something?

you missed much:):)
09-07-2009, 01:22 PM
tekina

Quote:

Originally Posted by antonio

you missed much:):)

I thought as much......
09-07-2009, 01:25 PM
antonio

Quote:

Originally Posted by tekina

I thought as much......

the finals are just now
09-07-2009, 01:26 PM
tekina

Quote:

Originally Posted by antonio

the finals are just now

well, good luck then.
09-07-2009, 01:27 PM
antonio

the finalists are:

RIVSTER

ANTONIO(ME)

SEAGODESS

:wow::wow::wow::wow::wow::wow::wow:
09-07-2009, 01:42 PM
rivster

What do you think?

Quote:

Originally Posted by the_dead_man

Indeed, and this judjement isn't fair when competitors are the judges themselves, in-fact this doesn't even look like a competition, plus the judgement wasn't fair enough coz her poems deserved a much higher score...

Quote:

Originally Posted by rivster

What did you think of my suggestion of letting a neutral member judge our poems?

Let's get this thread a bit organized,shall we?I am not the starter,so I require that everyone,including him,agrees.If not,then it's ok too.Then we have to continue in the fashion we were doing so.

1)
There will be no contest from now on.People will visit this thread to post poems they have composed,regardless of how short or how long it is.

2)
Everyone,except the poet of a particular poem,will vote for the poem and comment on it.If it's agreed that it's good,the poet will receive reps from the visiting members.

3)
If a poem is cited as not very good,the person citing it will have to give a valid reason.

These are the points following which we can make this thread better.It's up to everyone to follow it or not.

Thank You.

:cheers:
09-07-2009, 01:46 PM
antonio

my 3 poems

Take my hand and lead the way;
tell me all you want to say.
Whisper softly in my ear,
all those things I want to hear.
Kiss my lips and touch my skin;
bring out passions deep within.
Pull me close and hold me near;
take away my pain and fear.
In the darkness of the night,
be my beacon, shine your light.
In the brightness of the sun,
show me that you are the one.
Give me wings so I can fly;
for I can soar when you're nearby.
Enter my heart, break down the wall,
it's time for me to watch it fall.
I've been a prisoner, can't you see?
Break my chains and set me free.
Strip me of my armor tight;
you'll find I won't put up a fight.
Release my soul held deep within . . .
I'm ready now, let love begin.

I never thought that I would find
a friend so great and a friend so kind
I look up to you in every way
'cause I learn something from you every day.

Without you I don't know where I'd be
but you're still here, friends with me
you deserve so much more than I can give
but without you I wouldn't live.

You've given me more than money can buy
and for you I'd give my all and I would die
This feeling I feel gets stronger every day
hoping not to screw it up, I constantly pray.

I know we have our problems every now and then
but once it's fixed our friendship is better times ten
and I want you to know that I truly do care
even in fights when I say things that aren't fair.

You're an angel from God up above
and I'm thankful for your understanding love
because when you're around everything seems right
and for you, until the end, I will fight.

It doesn't matter what you do or say
because you'll be my friend anyway
I know the real you that's down deep inside
and in you, I'll always confide.

Thanks for being the friend you are
you're my best friend, an angel by far
everything in you is an inspiration to do great
and you'll be loved by all cause that's your fate!

So never stop being the real and wonderful you
cause God shines through in all that you do
and whenever it seems like I'm never there
remember this: I love you and I'll always care!

As you sit in silence,
Wondering why
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
Until your tears run dry.

When you've been hurt,
And can't believe what they've done
If you need someone to talk to
I'll be the one.

If a close friend hurts you,
And you don't understand
Remember I'm here,
I'll lend a helping hand.

Burdens are lighter when carried by two,
And I just want you to know
I'm here for you.:):):):)
09-07-2009, 01:48 PM
antonio

Quote:

Originally Posted by rivster

Let's get this thread a bit organized,shall we?I am not the starter,so I require that everyone,including him,agrees.If not,then it's ok too.Then we have to continue in the fashion we were doing so.

1)
There will be no contest from now on.People will visit this thread to post poems they have composed,regardless of how short or how long it is.

2)
Everyone,except the poet of a particular poem,will vote for the poem and comment on it.If it's agreed that it's good,the poet will receive reps from the visiting members.

3)
If a poem is cited as not very good,the person citing it will have to give a valid reason.

These are the points following which we can make this thread better.It's up to everyone to follow it or not.

Thank You.

:cheers:

if only you where my son:laugh::laugh::laugh::):)good idea im with you
09-07-2009, 02:43 PM
rivster

Quote:

Originally Posted by antonio

my 3 poems

Take my hand and lead the way;
tell me all you want to say.
Whisper softly in my ear,
all those things I want to hear.
Kiss my lips and touch my skin;
bring out passions deep within.
Pull me close and hold me near;
take away my pain and fear.
In the darkness of the night,
be my beacon, shine your light.
In the brightness of the sun,
show me that you are the one.
Give me wings so I can fly;
for I can soar when you're nearby.
Enter my heart, break down the wall,
it's time for me to watch it fall.
I've been a prisoner, can't you see?
Break my chains and set me free.
Strip me of my armor tight;
you'll find I won't put up a fight.
Release my soul held deep within . . .
I'm ready now, let love begin.

I never thought that I would find
a friend so great and a friend so kind
I look up to you in every way
'cause I learn something from you every day.

Without you I don't know where I'd be
but you're still here, friends with me
you deserve so much more than I can give
but without you I wouldn't live.

You've given me more than money can buy
and for you I'd give my all and I would die
This feeling I feel gets stronger every day
hoping not to screw it up, I constantly pray.

I know we have our problems every now and then
but once it's fixed our friendship is better times ten
and I want you to know that I truly do care
even in fights when I say things that aren't fair.

You're an angel from God up above
and I'm thankful for your understanding love
because when you're around everything seems right
and for you, until the end, I will fight.

It doesn't matter what you do or say
because you'll be my friend anyway
I know the real you that's down deep inside
and in you, I'll always confide.

Thanks for being the friend you are
you're my best friend, an angel by far
everything in you is an inspiration to do great
and you'll be loved by all cause that's your fate!

So never stop being the real and wonderful you
cause God shines through in all that you do
and whenever it seems like I'm never there
remember this: I love you and I'll always care!

As you sit in silence,
Wondering why
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
Until your tears run dry.

When you've been hurt,
And can't believe what they've done
If you need someone to talk to
I'll be the one.

If a close friend hurts you,
And you don't understand
Remember I'm here,
I'll lend a helping hand.

Burdens are lighter when carried by two,
And I just want you to know
I'm here for you.:):):):)

your poems are good but are on the same topic.You could bring in some variance.Anyway,repped you.
So everyone agrees to the proposals?And thanks for agreeing,Antonio.
09-07-2009, 05:35 PM
antonio

Quote:

Originally Posted by rivster

your poems are good but are on the same topic.You could bring in some variance.Anyway,repped you.
So everyone agrees to the proposals?And thanks for agreeing,Antonio.

there the same cuz i found out that im going to have a baby:wow::wow:
09-07-2009, 05:47 PM
rivster

Quote:

Originally Posted by antonio

there the same cuz i found out that im going to have a baby:wow::wow:

wow,congrats,Antonio!
09-07-2009, 06:25 PM
Paul

Quote:

Originally Posted by antonio

im going to have a baby:wow::wow:

What so Mr antonio is pregnant :o

:laugh::laugh:
09-07-2009, 06:41 PM
rivster

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul

What so Mr antonio is pregnant :o

:laugh::laugh:

ha ha ha ha!FUNNY!
09-07-2009, 07:08 PM
antonio

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul

What so Mr antonio is pregnant :o

:laugh::laugh:

nah just my wife but it whoud be intresting:):laugh::laugh:
10-07-2009, 05:50 AM
didaroo

The Four Steps
When I met you, I liked you.
When I liked you, I loved you.
When I loved you, I let you.
When I let you, I lost you.
10-07-2009, 06:28 AM
jmarin

Quote:

Originally Posted by rivster

1)
There will be no contest from now on.People will visit this thread to post poems they have composed,regardless of how short or how long it is.

2)
Everyone,except the poet of a particular poem,will vote for the poem and comment on it.If it's agreed that it's good,the poet will receive reps from the visiting members.

3)
If a poem is cited as not very good,the person citing it will have to give a valid reason.

I agree with rivster :)
Personally I don't like to "Judge" poems....its individual self expression, though I think we should be able to discuss and share our opinions with Respect.;)
10-07-2009, 06:37 AM
didaroo

so what about mine, good or bad?
10-07-2009, 07:06 AM
rivster

Quote:

Originally Posted by didaroo

so what about mine, good or bad?

Short and sweet.Good,but it's more of a para than a poem (to me,at least),though it has rhythm.Repped you.
10-07-2009, 07:09 AM
rivster

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmarin

I agree with rivster :)
Personally I don't like to "Judge" poems....its individual self expression, though I think we should be able to discuss and share our opinions with Respect.;)

Yeah,that would be better.Thanks for the suggestions. :thumbsup:
10-07-2009, 10:17 AM
antonio

Quote:

Originally Posted by didaroo

The Four Steps
When I met you, I liked you.
When I liked you, I loved you.
When I loved you, I let you.
When I let you, I lost you.

that not a poem(atleast not for me)does somebody agree

also it was good:)

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